Have kids got it too easy for Halloween now?
Now then, this post will depend on a few things, I would imagine. Such as:
1. Your age.
2. Your location.
3. Your childhood.
So, for those of who DID go out trick-or-treating (and not "still do", although I don't think there's anyone THAT young in here.. but you never know, do you?) I need to clear a few things up before I go on this rant. You see, different people I've talked to about this have different traditions and ideas to what the whole shebang is about. So I'll fill you in on what The Curmudgeon's Halloween used to entail..
You make your own costume, whether it's from things lying around the house (sneaking into your parents drawers and using their stuff if necessary), getting together with an equally excited gang of friends, going round doors and then telling a joke or singing a song to get your reward. That's what trick-or-treating has ALWAYS been to me.
Nowadays, though, (he says with a gruff sigh and a shake of the head), it's TOTALLY different. For one, the costumes kids have nowadays are rubbish. There is zero effort put into it now, and as a result the "costumes" now consist of a cheap plastic mask - and that's IT. The amount of times I opened the door last year to the same boring, unimaginative skeleton mask just defied belief.
And the kids don't DO anything anymore! No jokes, no songs (thankfully, I admit – listening to a bunch of tone-deaf idiots would be torture) and yet we're supposed to throw out sweets for that? A cheap, crap mask and an open hand? I don't think so.
I'll tell you a little anecdote about one of my first Halloween's (that I can remember, anyway). I must have been about seven and I had this sidesplitting, have-them-rolling-in-the-aisles joke to tell all of my punters..
Q: What goes tick tick woof?
A: A watch dog.
Big laughs all round, right? Except the first house I went into I got so shy and embarrassed I fluffed my line. This family had a cat, which may explain why I said..
"What goes tick tick... meow? A meow clock."
The “………….. riiiiiiiight..” look on their faces still haunts me today. I think they thought I was one of the special needs kids out on day release.
Anyway, back to my point. Kids have it FAR too easy for Halloween nowadays, and it's a fairly depressing show of today's society when 90% of the kids have to have their parents with them. Just another nail in the coffin for the glorious tradition of trick-or-treat.
So what was Halloween like for YOU? Did you tell jokes or anything like that? Did you make your own costumes? Or am I giving out telltale signs of my tragic upbringing?
1 comment:
Aaaaah. It's the most wonderful time of the year. Got my Misfts CD's at the ready, big-ass bowl of candy on the table, about 40 hours worth of horror movies set to record on my DVR, and my "Army of Darkness" t-shirt set to go. Best holiday ever. At least it used to be before I was so gainfuly employed. Those cheap-ass costumes featuring those awful masks were Halloween mainstays in my day, but I, like The Curmudgeon himself, was usually relegated to whatever I could find around the house. I used to have this insane hat that had a shark fin on top of it and the bill was split in two with the inside painted with teeth (the shark's mouth, see) and I used to wear it with my gray pajamas and take a toy gun and tell people I was "shark-man, defender of the deep" or some such thing. Once, I fashioned a home-made crossbow and borrowed my dad's camouflage hunting outfit to go as a hunter. Unfortunately, my father didn't bother washing the thing before handing it over so my too-authentic costume had a pouch full of dove's blood and feathers where he had stored the birds he shot while hunting. Yummy.
I've got Halloween prank stories for miles including one similiar to skymac's (but with less entertaining results) involving a grim reaper-esque hooded robe, but I won't get into all that. I did once use a live tarantula with a lizard in its jaws to scare the hell out of the parents who showed up at my door. The kids, on the other hand, ran into the house and gathered around. Good times.
The costumes have really improved where I'm from since I was a kid thanks to some costume shops in town that are truly awesome and the local high school kids that can't pass up the opportunity to gather free candy AND show off their bitchin' costumes. My only pet peeve about trick-or-treating these days is couples who bring their babies who are obviously too young for candy and expect three helpings. Typically, the parents don't even have costumes, just the kid. There's so much hysteria over kidnappers, perverts, bullies, and other things that go bump on the news that the art of trick-or-treating is really in decline. That is really too bad; I hope that my son will personally experience the joy that Halloween brought to me when I was younger.
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