Ho Ho .. huh.
It's like a curse.
Someone always says it.. like impending doom it creeps up on you.. "not long now 'till Christmas!"
Ever notice how people ask "are you all set for Christmas?" "You got everything ready for Christmas?" People don't look forward to Christmas anymore - they prepare for it, they get ready and set themselves up for it. What is it - a war? A famine? Nope - it's far worse.
Christmas becomes more of an ugly, joyless commercial nightmare every year. It's not for religion anymore, hasn't been for years, but it's barely even for families anymore. It's for retailers, businesses and companies. "A very merry Christmas to you, Mr Sainsbury. May your tills be simply bulging this year!" "And the same to you, Mr Mark, and you Mr Spencer! May your profits soar at this very, very special time. God bless us, one and all! Ker-chinnng!"
Stores close for ONE day now. ONE. Yet every near-sighted panicky idiot stocks up on food like they're in 28 Days Later. New reports state that we're going to spend more this year than any other year, and I bet that record will be smashed come December 2007. You've got to love the irony of a million gluttons waiting in line at the supermarket with more food than they could ever possibly eat, as the cynical, depressing supermarket Muzak pipes out "Feed The World."
Every year, the point and the sentiment to Christmas gets more and more lost. Even in the little things like, say; Christmas cards. To send to your loved ones and friends, right? Wrong. Send to every person you know, every person you work with, so it's not so much a list of friends and family but a conveyer belt of everyone you've ever met. And you can always tell the cards that are written by people who give in to the "right, who do I know..?" pressure - because they write so many of the damned things, there's no cheery greeting written inside, (or even "To" for that matter), it's just thier impersonal scrawl at the bottom. Basically, "Merry Christmas - here's my autograph."
Not one to bang on about religion, but Christmas Calendars are SUPPOSED to have 24 days in them, the countdown till His birth and all that? Right, you with me on that one? OK - but look - the big companies have scrapped that - recently they started putting a "special" chocolate for Christmas Day. Now though, through progress and mankinds greed, there's now a chocolate for every day until the 31st! How excellent! So what are we counting down now exactly? The start of the January Sales? Oh wait - how stupid of me. They start on Boxing Day now.
You can forget about listening to good music come December too. Every funny tie office ponce, housewife, stupid kid and basically people who don't buy records all year will buy the stupid novelty single that record companies inevitably churn out, be it Mr Blobby, Hamster Dance, Bob The Builder or some other worthless dogshit. In fact, scrap "good music" for "new music", because the radio stations wipe the dust off the same old ancient tunes year after year. You won't hear any new bands folks, because, heyyyy - "It's Chriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiistmaaaaaaaas".
There is not one single good thing left about Christmas. It is quite simply the most wretched, cynical, hateful time of year. A time where a nation's greed and stupidity reach record highs, where people spend money they don't have on shit they don't need, all in that cloying, feeble excuse "well... it IS Christmas".
If you like Christmas - you're an idiot. Simple as that.
2 comments:
(singing) "You're an eeevil one, Mister Grinch". Damn, I've never met someone with that serious a beef with Christmas before. Not that the things you say are wrong. It's all true. Personally, I've started to become irritable, not becaase of the rampant consumerism (I've just accepted that as part of the "spirit") but because Christmas has been hijacked as a vehicle for moronic political correctness. It's now practically a hate crime to tell somebody "Merry Christmas" in public. It's "Happy Holidays" now because if a Jewish person or atheist were to hear the name "Christ", even as part of a holiday's name and pronounced differently, their little world would fall all to pieces. Let's face it, despite the pagan roots of many of their celebrations, Christians have the best holidays. Gee, should I celebrate Christmas and Easter and share joy and wonderful food and gifts with my family, or go the Ramadan route and fast for a month or whatever? Atheists want to have their cake and eat it too. They want in on Christmas and all of the other fun stuff, but they continue to crusade against the things those celebrations stand (stood?) for. Thus, our holidays become corrupted by politically correct fucktards and the last shreds of remaining joy during this season are sucked out so that non-christians don't have to feel bad that their holidays (or lack thereof), well, kinda suck. But this way, they get join in on the festivities without feeling like sell-outs even if that's exaclty what they are. If I had any Jewish or African friends I'd happily wish them a happy Hannukah or Kwanza, but the fact that I don't even know any such people shows that they are a minority. And what's the fun of being a minority if you can't feel oppressed and entitled to special treatment? While I enjoy America's diversity on many levels, I am dead tired of hearing these people scream about acceptance of their beliefs while they actively campaign against the beliefs of the majority in their country of residence. The double-standard is killing me. Still, I won't let this kind of BS ruin my season, filled to the brim with grim irony though it may be. I'm going play my "Oi to the World" punk christmas CD, take a page from the Vandal's lyric sheet, and sing to these people:
"Nothing's gonna ruin my holiday, no act of God or family fight. 'Cuz if you try to ruin my holiday, I swear you will regret it for the rest of your fucking life. You'll burn in hell with hot pokers in your eyes and acid on your flesh.
Soon this crappy Christmas will be over and I'll go back to my pissed-off self. But until that happens I'll just continue laughing like one of those creepy, retard, mutant North Pole elves"
Sage advice, no?
"And what's the fun of being a minority if you can't feel oppressed and entitled to special treatment?"
And that, my friends, pretty much sums up 99% of the worlds problems.
Trashcan - you should write something, man. A book, a speech.. something. Anything. This shit needs to be HEARD!
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