Public Opinion can be bad for your health!
For those of you who joined The Curmudgeon after reading some of his Amazon reviews, you may well be familiar with THIS:
“Everyone is entitled to an opinion."
Ever heard that phrase? Well, trust me, after reading a few of the "reviews" on this website, you'll agree with The Curmudgeon - no, they are not.”
I believe that when I first started writing my reviews and, more than ever, I believe it now. Now, The Curmudgeon doesn’t include the loyal Fortress Dwellers among that lot; the passionate, clever and witty opinions of you guys are what keep The Fortress alive. That and me writing it, of course.
No, the public opinion I am talking about is that of the clueless, easily pleased masses, the sort of masses that vote in all these End Of Year polls, along with The Best Song Ever and Best Album Ever polls. You know the sort of thing I mean. The Curmudgeon used to love watching and reading these things, but lately its just something I’ve had to force myself to keep away from for the good of my own health. I can feel the blood pulsing in my eyeballs when I read some of these things now.
And why is that? Well, according to The Public..
1. In a list of Most Influential Artists, Bez (the famously talentless “dancer” from The Happy Mondays, who didn’t write any songs, who didn’t sing any songs and who didn’t play any instruments, only danced like a drug addict on stage), was higher up the list of Influential Artists than Prince.
2. Will Young, a Pop Idol winner who had just released his first solo single, was voted number ONE in Best Male Artist Of All Time.
3. The Best Single Of All Time was recently won by Snow Patrol’s “Chasing Cars”, which was released about two months ago.
4. In The Top Ten Movies Of All Time, The Lord of The Rings trilogy takes up three entries (with “Fellowship” being number one).
5. In the (now much derided) Record Of The Year, the boyband Westlife scooped the award with their by-the-books cover of the Barry Manilow song “Mandy”, which was number one about a month before the award.
6. In the Greatest Artist Of All Time, just ahead of Leonardo Da Vinci at number one was...... Rolf Harris.
This is just a small example of the knuckle-chewing howlers the idiotic public are responsible for. It seems that these polls are filled in by morons who seem to think the last thing they listened to is the Best Thing Ever. And we, as genuine and passionate fans of music and movies, have to yell at the TV or tear up the magazine that these abominations are published in.
The only opinion polls of any worth are written by critics or experts of the genre. In the end you may not agree with what wins or loses, but you can accept it as a learned opinion from someone who actually has a clue what they’re talking about, not the “what did I buy last” gibberish from the great unwashed.
So this is a public safety announcement from The Fortress Of Solitude; the next time you see another Best Of All Time list or TV show – be careful. Find out who’s casting the votes. If it says “As Voted For By YOU” – rest assured it is not by “you” or anyone even remotely like you. Run away, far away - you may well live longer.
6 comments:
I've learned through trial and error to ignore almost everyone else's opinion on topics close to my heart, because, as you say, the "common" opinion is usually so far from the truth its depressing. Eg - I asked a girl what her favourite horror movie was the other week and she said the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. "The original?" I asked. "No!" she replied with a screwed up face. "That shit is OLD."
Mother didn't like her one bit after that.
I once saw a "Greatest Guitarist of All Time" poll in Rolling Stone that had Jack White and Kurt Cobain in the top 15 or so and Eddie Van Halen was number 70-something. That is only one of the atrocities of that very painful list that proved to me that even most so-called music "experts" know jack shit about music. Most of my aquaintances know I'm a bit of a horror guru, so they often ask me about which of the recent horror remakes they should see. My answer never wavers: "Just rent the original". Their response is typically something like, "It doesn't have subtitles, does it?", or even worse, "It better not be in black-and-white." And I'm considered a freakin' weirdo. Can I even count the number of times people have tried to convince me of the authenticity of the supposed "real footage" at the end of the "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" remake? I honestly couldn't. How do I know all this stuff, they want to know? Try reading a book or something, people. There's words and stuff in there, ya know. Sheesh. Hell, if you're to lazy for that (as I've become) there's always the internet. You've just gotta develop a bullshit detector for judging which opinions are those of a true fan of the art form, and which are from "knuckle-chewing howlers" (I think I've just found my new favorite phrase). I'm still searching for somebody else who hates Gwen Stefani and the Pussycat Dolls like I do. Haven't found a one, though some are finally starting to realize that P. Diddy is a no-talent hack now that they aren't barraged with his painfully bad form of rap every 15 minutes on the radio. That "Josie and the Pussycats" movie is starting to look like a documentary. (sigh) People really are morons.
"I'm not anti-society; society's anti-me" -Mike Muir.
And one more thing, Ben. I can't think of anything recent that is better than "Decemberunderground". Not because it's a great album, mind you, but everything else this year has been so awful. I'm a huge AFI fan from back in the day. Little did I know that I'd be buying a Killers album with a lead single ripped right out of Green Day's recent hit library. If I'd heard that lame song before I'd hit Best Buy that day, I'd never have bought that album. Is there anything more painful than seeing a credible artist you've admired for their hardcore values sell out this completely? Maybe a death in the family or passing a kidney stone, but not much else.
My wife will watch pretty much anything I put in front of her, but she just can't dig horror movies with subtitles. To be honest, I can kinda see her point, that being "it takes away all the suspense and tension, having to READ what they're saying at the frightening bits". Which, yeah - I think I agree with.
The whole "if its black and white its shit" POV really pisses me off as well, and I've lost count of the amount of idiots I've tutted and rolled my eyes at after hearing that.
AFI? Nope, they've yet to make a dent over here. I'll be sure to keep my eye out for them now though. One says they suck, the other says its been the best thing out this year...
You know, I gotta admit to having a bit of a soft spot for P Diddy. Yeah, fair enough he's never going to win rapper of the year award or anything (although, given the nature of this thread, he probably would), but I always liked the fact he merged rap and rock before it was the A+ trendy thing to do, and anyone who's heard "Would They Die 4 U" with System Of A Down or "All About The Benjamins" with Dave Grohl know he's not just putting generic guitars in the mix for the hell of it. Add to that the whole multi-racial aspect and - well, yeah, I do like Diddy.
But Gwen and Pussycat Dolls? Hoo boy - there's a whole barrel of suck right there.
Believe me, I'm no fairweather fan of any band. I've still got the AFI t-shirt I bought when they played in my hometown of Hanford, California (heard of it? Neither has anyone else outside of this valley) in what is practically a freakin' barn some 6-or-7 years ago. The ceiling was so low, the bassist and guitarist both banged the ceiling with their instruments during the show. Those dudes were hardcore. "Black Sails in the Sunset" is still an all-time favorite punk album of mine, though it actually frightened my wife when she heard it. Now THAT is punk. I'm not saying that "Decemberunderground" is a great album; much of it sounds like some horrible hybrid between the Killers (decent band, but trendy) and that awful emo crap that's so popular these days. "Miss Murder" is a terrible song and far away from the AFI I knew and loved (not too mention a damn near carbon copy of recent Green Day hit, "Holiday". Still, there's a few pretty great tracks on that CD, so it may warrant a few more spins on my part. I honestly listen to very little new music anymore, so I'm hardly in a postiion to call anything "album of the year". There's still so much old music I haven't heard, it seems ridiculous to check out all the new stuff I'm almost guaranteed to hate when there's still so many albums I haven't heard by bands I love. Plus, bands that are broken up now can never sell out, so there's a load off right there. As for Diddy, that desecration of "Kashmir" alone was enough to earn my eternal hatred. And don't get me started on the Police song he turned into the cheesiest instance of necrophilia in recorded history. Plus I have a natural aversion to celebrities who get famous because their friends are famous. To paraphrase a Primus song almost certainly written about Courtney Love (now there's a can of worms), "On the coattails of a deadman he rides, he rides".
You write very well.
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