Review 107: Nelly - Grillz

Music for idiotz.

Hey, here's JUST what the bloated, boring hip-hop scene needs - yet another song about money and bling, exactly the same as every other piece of crap released by every other unoriginal idiot in the last ten years.

But this is different in one way at least - it's bragging about how much money, women etc they all have (funny how every one of them is so mirror-shatteringly ugly they would make The Elephant Man look like Brad Pitt - how DO they get all these beautiful girls to hang around them? You think they were paid models or something), but it's probably a great deal worse than any other cut and paste hip hop rubbish - because it's trying (and failing) to start another woeful rap trend that every dead-eyed, Follow The Leader kid will want to copy.

They have diamond encrusted mouth shields and braces. Oh, I'm sorry - that word isn't "gangsta" enough - these are Grillz. Not Grills, of course, because this is Nelly and all of his songs have to be spelled phonetically for absolutely no reason at all. So if you were ever worried that hip-hop had become an ugly parody of itself, insulting and forgetting the very purpose that the original artists had, there's always the likes of talentless chancers like Nelly to remind you that your worries were totally accurate. He brings in some of his equally witless friends to fill in the gaps, with some more tedious by-the-numbers rapping. Honestly, one day people will look back on this vapid, monotonous genre and LAUGH.

So a song about wearing gum shredding expensive braces. And people bought it and it was a bit hit. Do you sometimes think it would be better if a comet stuck the earth and killed every single one of us?