Review 110: Celion Dion and Barbara Streisand - Tell Him

Two meglomaniacal harpies for the price of one - thanks for that

Now, normally I don't go on about a particular rubbish artist more than once. I make the odd exception if they're REALLY bad (The Darkness springs to mind) but I find that once is enough; it would get a bit tedious if I were to rate every single and album by a band or singer just to reiterate the fact they're atrocious. So I gave enormous necked super-bore Celine Dion a one star review in the past, which meant I wasn't going to focus on the rest of the musical bilge she polluted the charts with. But I decided to bend the rules for THIS monstrous single, a duet between the singing giraffe and Babs Streisand - surely a pairing the world doesn't deserve.

So what MADE me bend the rules to fit in this single? It's a sub-par snore, certainly no better or worse than anything Celine has put out before. Simple - the video. A teeth-grindingly irritating, hateful video which shows our two warblers singing together in a studio, as if they're the best of chums. It's been done before, certainly, but never as genuinely loathsome as this, the look of "surprise" on their faces as they hear how wonderful they are. Like "woah, way to hit that high note, girlfriend!" even though they're quite obviously miming over a pre-recorded song. Mechanecks bulging eyes lighting up as she "feels" the words she never wrote, Bab's nostrils flaring with every over-egged, preposterous vocal - it's one of the most dumb-foundingly awful things you'll ever see. Feelings of violence towards Celine Dion are nothing new, but this video brings out more maniacal urges than the Overlook Hotel.

Barbara Streisand, welcome to the Official Room 101 of Amazon.com. Celine - you're now a two-time veteran. Your rubbish music is one thing, but make another video like THIS abomination and you'll be hitting the hat-trick.