Sunday, May 14, 2006

Review 69: Tony Christie - Is This The Way To Amarillo?



Bending the rules, part two.

For those who haven't read any of The Curmudgeon's other reviews (where have you BEEN?!) I'll explain the title of this review. I reviewed Robbie Williams "Angels", giving it one star but explaining it wasn't the actual SONG or the SINGER that I was slating, more the knuckle-dragging ignorant scum audiences that it attracts. Like I said then, I bend the rules because I can.

And it's the same here. "Is This The Way To Armarillo" is a cheesy classic in its own right, an enjoyable song that, for some reason, you know off by heart without ever actually remembering hearing it in the first place.

That was before it was re-released as part of Comic Relief. In a decent move, its not a cover by some boyband (as is usual in these cases, see Westlife's God-awful cover of "Uptown Girl" or Boyzones attempt at "If The Going Gets Tough"). No, they dug up Tony Christie to mime along to his original version. The real star of the show though, for some reason, is comedian Peter Kay (who I imagine some of the scum think is actually singing) to appear in the video as well, mouthing along to the track. I say "as well", more like for 95% of the video, until they remember Tony Christie is still alive and bring him for the hell of it.

Ah, yes - the video. It's actually pretty good, having Peter Kay stroll along a variety of backdrops, bringing in British TV characters from the 70's and 80's. It's a nice, "hey, look who it is" attempt, and even Peter's "hey, look! I'm just like YOU, common person" shtick doesn't wear thin.

"So.. hang on," you may be thinking, "good song. Good video - what's the problem?" Well, it's the same as the Robbie single, dear reader - it's the moronic public that ruined this for The Curmudgeon.

I think The Scum have about 8 songs in their entire collection. If they want to be "deep", they play Angels. If they want to "rock", they play The Darkness. And now this has been added, if they want a good old fashioned happy singalong - they play this. So cue EVERY kareoke night, EVERY party, forever - and some tattooed idiot is going to sing this for his yo-yo knickered girlfriend to sing and laugh along to. Or some hilarious thick dad is going to sing it for his equally dead-eyed family. And, of course, they HAVE to do the "stroll" made famous in the video.

Sounds like a deserving one star to me, don't you think?

1 comment:

The Curmudgeon said...

I still have nightmares of this song. When I was on holiday in Italy last year we used to go to this Irish bar (run by Italians - go figure) and the guy that ran the bar asked me "what the number one song over in the UK is right now". I should have said "Beautiful People" by Marilyn Manson or something, but no I had to go and tell him the truth. It was, of course, Tony Christie.

So he downloads it and plays it EVERY night, announcing "hey everrrybody - Amarillooooooooo!" But not just once. Oh no - we get the original, then the dance mix, then some other godawful mix he found online, all in a row. 15 straight minutes of the damn thing every fucking night.

I have issues with this song.