The Curmudgeon has returned!

Well, Dwellers, you can all celebrate now - The Curmudgeon has returned from Florida. I hope you all missed me because, hey, I missed YOU.

Anyway, SUPERB holiday that it was (14 straight days at theme parks - what's that old saying about needing a holiday from your holiday?), the above image kinda represents the sinister domination that ol' Mickey has on Florida. Seriously, he's everywhere. And as much as it's a "world of make believe" etc etc, hasn't anyone thought to mention that all Disney cartoons are shit? Just a thought.

Besides all that, if you've never been to Florida - GO. Seriously, if you like rides and acts and rollercoasters there is no better place on earth than Florida. Universal Studio's (Marvel World Of Adventure has to be seen to be believed), Busch Garden's, the Disney parks.. honestly, words don't do it justice. The time and effort they go into making you forget you're actually on a ride is incredible (the Spider-Man 3D ride has a waiting line inside a mock journalist office, with computer screens with mugshots of super villains - and that's just a basic example).

Highlights?

Terminator 3-D: After a superb tongue in cheek "promo" video from Skynet, we get a overly cheery Skynet "rep" to guide us into our seats ("mind the doors.. we wouldn't want anyone to get squished!") and then it's a mind-blowing merge of 3-D movie (with the four main players of T2) and live action (Arnie rides his bike on screen and then bursts onto the stage with a lookalike miming the rest of the words). With about 15 minutes of new footage, it's about ten times better than T3.

Hulk Rollercoaster: The rollercoaster itself is pant-wetting; twists and turns and drops and loops and a jet propelled start, the waiting line is a giant lab with huge video's created for the ride, with an animated Bruce Banner talking to the crowd and showing his origin etc (and a neat run through of various villains).

Doctor Doom: Doomfall - How to describe this? You sit in a big chair. It shoots you straight into the air, from inside the building to towering over the entire park outside - and then it drops you again. Again, the wait is awesome. You walk into building hearing "welcome to Latveria" and then giant video's show especially made cartoons of Doom ranting about the FF, as well as some Latveria propoganda. Oh, and the staff are comically unpleasant. "When the ride comes to a complete stop, gather your belongings and GET OUT."

The Mummy: A brilliantly frightening roller coaster in the dark, with 3-D visuals popping out at you and sending you hurtling backwards into darkness. Comes with token funny bits from Brendan Fraser. Brilliant.


That's just a few, 'cos I don't wanna go on for hours. There's countless rollercoasters, spot-on shows and countless characters walking around waiting for you to take your picture with them. It's funny, the cynical mind goes from thinking "it's a guy in a suit" to "holy crap - it's Scooby Doo!!"

Every "3-D" ride has added effects - in Shrek, when Donkey sneezes, you feel a slight burst of water on your face. When Stitch burps, you smell pizza. Every licensed ride has the main stars adding voice overs or appearing in the films and waiting line video's. No expense is spared, and if you go at the right time, the queue lengths aren't bad either.

If you've never been - you owe it to yourself to rectify that.


Anyway, enough holiday talk. The Fortress Doors are well and truly open again, boys and girls.. the best is yet to come!