Tuesday, June 27, 2006

I'm Watching You...


Gather round, Boys and Girls! It's time for a NEW permanent segment!

If you look back at the last Fortress statement, you'll notice I said there's going to be more threads. Well, this is one of them. And you may well see it a lot.

"I'm Watching You", an opportunity to talk about what film's we've been watching, or what TV show we recommend or even what book you're loving just now (I know it doesn't really fit in with the name but come on - "I'm Reading You" doesn't work.)

So whenever you see that gruesome image above, you can get ready to talk about what you've been watching.

A minor etiquette request first (not a rule, obviously). If you're talking about a film or a TV show you've seen and you're going to talk about a plot twist or a character leaving or dying or couples getting together or splitting up or basically anything that massively affects the storyline of the thing you're watching, would you do The Fortress and it's other Dwellers a favour? Type this..

SPOILER

Before you start. Just give the people who haven't seen it and care not to know what happens ample opportunity to scroll down. It's a small thing, but can make such a big impact on other people. Hell, I gave up visiting a wrestling website because people simply refused to write "SPOILER" in their thread headings. So it would read.. "I don't believe it.." - click thread and, "So and so is the new WWE champ!" Unbearable.
So, "SPOILER" first, please. All I ask. Fair enough if you're just giving an overall opinion on a film or show, such as "last weeks Dr Who was one of the worst things I have ever seen", then there's no need for any such warnings. Ah, you guys have floated around the net long enough. You know the drill.

Anyway, I'll start the ball rolling on our very first IWY. Went to the cinema to see two movies last week. United 93 (not a lot to say about that one - tense, unsettling, realistic.. if a little opportunistic.. guess when the DVD is coming out?) and.. X-Men 3.

I'll say this - it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. After directors walking about and main stars leaving (Nightcrawler, we hardly knew ye) it would be easy to imagine this as one sequel too far. But no - it was good. Not great, by any stretch of the imagination, but certainly entertaining enough. There were a plethora of new mutants which was both a good and a bad thing. Good in that, when the DVD comes out, the nerds among us (your humble narrator included) can pause and rewind and work out who they're supposed to be (did anyone else spot Psyloke?) Bad - there was just too many people in there to be given any real screen time. Potential great characters were all but ignored. A decent plot and some nice set pieces, not to mention Ian McKellan acting every single person off the screen again and, well.. it could have been better but it could have been a lot worse. A nice 2 disc DVD will sit nicely next to the others, thank you very much.

SPOILERS

First things first - The Juggernaut. What. The. Christ.

I admit I did tense up a little in excitement when they said "Cain Marko" before opening up his cell and then.. oh good God. The first words out of this charismatic wrecking machine? "I need a pee." Not only did they screw the entire character up, but they also forgot the fact that he is

a) Xavier's half-brother
and
b) not actually a mutant.

So the cute little trick at the end wouldn't have worked. I mean, if he was a mutant, why would he be WEARING that stupid suit in the first place? And the line "I don't swim" was bullshit as well, because it's happened a LOT in the comics where Juggernaut simply jumps into the sea and walks across it.

You know, if this was written by people who didn't really know the source material then that's one thing. Wouldn't be the first time a comic book character has turned into an entirely different beast, but when you have writers so obviously clued up as to include the lineI'm the Juggernaut, Bitch! (I couldn't BELIEVE that!), referring to a little-known internet animation, not to mention having Storm and Callisto having their famous fight, yet they don't give due respect to one of the most popular of all the Marvel villains? That's just not right.

Grumbles aside, it was pretty decent. If anyone saw the end we all know Charles survived and Magneto's getting his powers back. It was a big box office success (and there's still the DVD to come) so there may well be an X-Men 4. Hey - let's hope.



There, quick and painless. The very first "I'm Watching You". Feel free to comment on X-Men 3, United 93 or hell, anything you want.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Aside from some moments where I actually said "Bullshit!" out loud right there in the theater, I really dug X-men 3. I laughed my ass off when Jugs said his one-liner. Cheesy? Yes, but I still cheered. I really dug the Kitty vs Juggernaut scene as a whole. I don't care about the other stuff they left out. They had enough half-assed story on their hands without explaining to a largely non-comic-reading audience about the gem of whats-it and going through his and Xavier's whole backstory. I just wished they'd left Phoenix underwater for this whole episode and brought Famke in using visions or dreams to Xavier, Cyclops, or Wolverine and had her rise at the end of the credits in all her glory as a set up to a REAL Phoenix saga in the next film. All she really did is kill Cyclops and Xavier off way too early in the only somewhat moving scenes of the movie and spend the rest of her time standing behind Magneto looking creepy. And why, you ask, would the mighty Phoenix Force want to hang around with Magneto's quaint little Brotherhood? Your guess is as good as mine. I enjoyed the film on many levels (I regretably missed Psylocke) but I was just so angry that Ratner felt he had to so thoroughly dismantle the series as if to make sure no one would ever touch it again and even if they did it would be crippled with half the cast dead or powerless and a big hole to dig out of before the story could be further advanced. (Deep breath) That is just a shameful thing to do to fans of the X-men. I just hope there is some truth to the rumors of an Emma Frost film or one featuring New Mutants as a semi-continuation because that might be the best way to rebuild this demolished franchise.