Superman is returning...

And here's what is wrong with it already.

First things first - The Curmudgeon is not a doom-monger. By that I mean I don't slate things for the hell of it. In cases like comic book movie adaptations, I WANT them to be excellent. I'm going to be buying it, after all. So even though Superman Returns isn't even out yet and I'm already trashing it, don't think I'm like one of those white-foam-at-the-side-of-the-mouth dicks on other internet sites, ready to cry "worst.movie.ever" just for kicks.

Clear? Alright. Superman Returns, then. Could be awesome, could be awful. Granted, the trailer had me hooked (it can be found on this very site somewhere as well.. you'll have to go exploring to find it) but there's been a few things that have bothered me about this film as soon as details started to come out about it.

First of all - Superman himself. Sorry, but Brandon Routh just doesn't cut it for me. I've been seeing his mug everywhere I go recently; T-shirts, posters, magazines, Fathers Day cakes ("for a Superdad", no less - ugh) and he just doesn't convince as Supes. It's obviously just, ahem - a guy in a suit. He looks like someone who would appear on the front of a Superman Costume Playset. Maybe he'll dazzle and shine on the big screen but for now - that ain't Superman to me. "But he looks eerily like Christopher Reeve" I've heard over and over again, which leads me, funnily enough, to my next gripe.

What is the OBSESSION with both Christopher Reeve and the Superman movies? What is both the desire to mould Brandon into some Reeve clone AND keep the storyline from the Superman movies going? Are we SERIOUSLY supposed to be able to watch Superman, Superman II and then Superman Returns seamlessly? Never mind the fact that the actors are completely different (man, those years have been kind to Lois - pity poor Lex went bald though), but I guarantee the tone and style of the movies will be 100% different, not to mention the characters themselves. Do you really expect Kate Bosworth's Lois Lane to be the same as Margot Kidder's croaky voiced howler? And will they play the "comedy" music for Lex Luthor as they did for Gene Hackman's version? I somehow doubt it. But never mind - Brandon just looks EXACTLY like Christopher Reeve!

Newsflash One - The Superman movies weren't that great. In fact, they weren't even that GOOD. Part II was "leaps and bounds" over the first (which, basically, made NO sense) but it still wasn't the set in stone classic people make it out to be.

Newsflash Two - Christopher Reeve wasn't the first person to play Superman. The only reason there's this rabid passion to clone him for this movie is because he's dead.

Newsflash Three - Like I said in part two - there have been other Superman adaptations. Why not get ultimate influence from them? Why is no-one trying to make Brandon Routh look like Kirk Alyn from the 1940's movie serials? He's dead too, you know. Or how about George Reeves from the 50's? Dead as well - and in pretty gruesome fashion, to boot. Or fast forward and try and recreate Dean Cain's Superman. He's.. well, he's as good as dead. There is no reason to cling to the first two movies like this.

Anyway, moan over. Like I said, I want to LOVE this movie. I want it to do well and to create a string of sequels (although good luck finding villains for him to fight - DC villains are RUBBISH) and this is just picking faults that may not directly impact on the movie's quality.

See you at the cinema. With fingers crossed.