Yaaaaaay - ANOTHER new section!
Yes indeed, loyal Dwellers – another new section that will crop up from time to time, and it’s not one that takes much explaining. Mirror Match – ripped from the Mortal Kombat series but instead of poorly digitised characters fighting themselves, we will be discussing characters from movies who have been played by different characters – and who was the best.
Feel free to start up your own “versus” (although you must give a winner), but I’ll start the ball rolling with a few to get the discussions going. Agree, disagree – speak your mind.
Round One – FIGHT!
Best Batman.
Contenders – Michael Keaton, Adam West, George Clooney, Christian Bale, Lewis Wilson and Val Kilmer.
First of all, George Clooney gets knocked THE FUCK out from the start. His “character” is basically the same character George Clooney plays in every film (bar From Dusk ‘Till Dawn) – smug, “I know I’m handsome” and, well, basically George Clooney. Worst Batman ever. Val Kilmer mistakes “tortured” for “boring” and can sit out too. Old timer Lewis Wilson (from the 1940's cinema serials) was a pretty good Batman; solid looking, deep voiced and pretty serious, but he’s not enough to withstand the best Batman’s, of which it’s a tough call to name a winner. Michael Keaton was good; suave, wild-eyed and the first to show Batman as a troubled soul (and the only actor to survive more than one movie) until his real successor arrived – Christian Bale. Well built, handsome but with a hint of something far darker hiding behind the smile, Bale brought Batman back with a bang – great things are still to come. As good as he is, though – can he dance? Can he slide down poles hidden in his library? Can he punch sharks hanging onto his leg? Didn’t think so – only one man ever could. Step forward Adam West, the definitive Batman.
Round Two – FIGHT!
Best Willy Wonka
Contenders – Johnny Depp and Gene Wilder.
There was always a lot of rumour going around who could play Willy Wonka, (even Marilyn Manson’s name popped up a few times. That would have been something to see) but when Depp’s name was mentioned there was a sense of – “oh.. of course!” Depp’s shiny-eyed kookiness was infectious, but the role really did belong to Wilder, not least for his tantrum at the end; “Good-day, sir! YOU LOSE!” Gene Wilder gave a far creepier performance than Depp’s camp child’s TV presenter, and the boat ride is still enough to give anyone nightmares. Wilder wins this one convincingly.
And I’ll leave Round Three open, in case any of you want to suggest your own Mirror Match. Or rip apart my two opinions. Either’s good.
4 comments:
Actually, I'll have to agree with you on all points. Gene Wilder seriously creeped me out in the original. Remember when he spazzed out about Charlie "contaminating" the precious space? His eyes literally erupted into flame.
My memory isn't what it was - did they have the boat ride in the new version?
I think there's only one person on the entire planet that would argue that point, Wolfman - and that's the living beard himself.
And if he's reading this, I have two things to say.
1. You're a dick.
2. Get Howard The Duck 2 Disc Special Edition released. You dick.
Oh, and Indian Jones would have the potential to be the best film ever.
Indian Jones And The Riders Of The Last Shark.
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