Monday, September 04, 2006

Review 91: Madonna - American Pie




About as wanted as American Pie: Bandcamp.

Before I begin, let me just say I hold no particular reverence for this song, as the majority seem to. Good song, I guess, I just don't salivate over it the way most people do. Still, its Bohemian Rhapsody compared to this version, which is Cha-Cha Slide in comparison.

I was always going to "induct" Madonna in these pages, but wasn't sure which way to do it. I do like Madonna (especially now she's moved on from her soul-free "trance" attempts, where basically she says a few words and gets Big Name DJ to remix them for her), but crikey, she's had a few stinkers in her time. So it was a toss up between this and American Life (for the rap, more than anything else.."I'm in my Mini-Cooper and I'm feeling super duper..." oh dear) but I reckon this just beats it in terms of sheer awfulness.

So Madonna sings American Pie. With the same wibbly wobbly dance effects William Orbit puts on ALL his songs. She dances like a loon in the video - and misses half of the actual song out.

Now, one of the main appeals to the song American Pie is just what the hell its all about. Who IS the Jester? WHO borrowed the coat from James Dean? Who cares? Certainly not Madonna, as this by the numbers hollow garbage shows. To her credit, Madonna hasn't done any covers (to my knowledge) before, so I suppose most people can forgive her this one.

Not The Curmudgeon, though. It's a classic song (so everyone keeps telling me) and this sounds just like every God-awful eurodance cover that you've ever hated. One can only imagine the sheer horror of the "Humpty" remix. Just what Don Mclean had intended, I'm sure. Unforgivable.

3 comments:

The Curmudgeon said...

Well, hey - at least you wrote SOMETHING Lynsey. It's.. well, it's a start.

Fellow Dwellers - this is Lynsey, who I met on Bebo.com. She was pretty much the first person who didn't think I was the worst human being alive. Eh, she'll learn.

OK, so this is how The Fortress works, Lynsey. Get a pen and paper if you have to - you read the topic, whether it's one of my reviews which were originally in Amazon.com, or one of the subjects I'm rattling on about - and you leave a suitable comment about what you've just read, whether you agree or disagree or whatever. Simple as that.

So feel free to browse through the Fortress at your leisure and, once again - welcome. You've now become one of The Chosen.

The Curmudgeon said...

I didn't know you were a Madonna fan, Wolfman. A fairly learned one to boot. So - what did YOU think of American Pie, then?

The Curmudgeon said...

Hey, I liked "Who's That Girl" too!

Kaboom.