Oooh, I've been itching to tell you lot this for a few days now. I got THIS e-mail last week..
"hey hate monger. your shits cool. i hate faggots too."
Before I continue, I'll let you see the reply.
"Dear half-wit.
I don't know where to start. I was going to ask what part of my "shit" you found cool (and I really hope you didn't mean literally) but you know what? I don't care. I imagine you're writing regarding an Amazon review of which you must have absolutley missed the point. Even if you didn't read any of my Amazon stuff, you obviously missed the point when it comes to The Curmudgeon. Did you see the Irresponsible Hate Monger nickname and form some dickwad idea as to what I'm about?
Because guess what genius - you've totally read me wrong if you think I hate "faggots". I don't. And guess what else? I don't hate blacks, I don't hate asians, I don't hate transexuals. Yeah, I hate people, but its got nothing to do with what colour their skin is or who they happen to enjoy screwing. It's who they ARE that defines if I hate someone. If a black guy is a dick - The Curmudgeon hates him. If a gay guy has an ignorant music taste and a disregard for quality - The Curmudgeon hates him. Bottom line - if I meet someone stupid, crass and full of pointless juvenile insults aimed at those that don't deserve it - then I hate them.
Which means - ding ding ding - The Curmudgeon hates YOU. Never e-mail me again."
You know, dammit, he was doing SO well at the start. Anyone who starts an e-mail with "hey hate monger" (albeit with a sad lack of any capital letters) is A-OK with me. But then to come out with that... tut tut.
Now then, I'm not on some "love your fellow man" trip here. Hate is good. Hate is cool. Hate is warm, fuzzy and awesome - but only for the right reasons. Here on the internet, hate can actually be the most fair, un-racist thing. You see, it doesn't MATTER what colour you are or what you look like or what sexuality you are. On the internet the ONLY thing that people can judge you on (and mark my words, The Curmudgeon DOES judge) is what you say. So if you're polite, smart, funny or whatever, it will show and The Curmudgeon will like you. If, on the other hand, you're like our racist friend above, or you can't string a sentence together without using text speak or you slate bands or movies you don't know or whatever - then THAT is when The Curmudgeon rolls up his sleeves, takes you outside and boxes your ears.
Just had to get that off my chest, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you for your time.
3 comments:
Sounds good to me, man.
I have no idea what gave him the idea either and, annoyingly I deleted his e-mail by mistake. Usual thing, I put it alongside the numerous bulk/junk mails that filter through into my real e-mail and got rid. I was actually half tempted to find out what it was that caused him to think that.
My guess? He's read some of my Amazon reviews which are of boybands and known gay singers like Will Young. And you know, not ONCE did I mention their sexuality in a negative way (if I even mentioned it in the first place) but this is my only guess.
I suppose we'll never know. Unless he writes back.
A "hater?"
Why, Wolfman - are you trying to get all "street" on us? Er, dawg?
It's getting the same in the UK. We have a "controversial" radio DJ called Chris Moyles who recently came under fire for saying "I don't like that song - it's gay."
When the P.C police came knocking, he said he MEANT it was stupid.
So there you have it. Gay - used to mean happy. Then homosexual. Now stupid. Wonderful.
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