The Curmudgeon hates to beg, but..

Brother, can you spare a vote?

Here's a fact - The Curmudgeon sets out to be hated at times. Now, in The Fortress I'm a different cat to what you would see on other websites. Here it's MY place, where I talk to the very best the net has to offer (trust me - after trawling the horrors of Myspace etc and all the text-speak morons, the dead-eyed "gangsta's" and the generally thick and ignorant - this site, with clever, funny and interesting Dwellers - is like paradise) and The Curmudgeon is a far calmer, far more pleasant personality. On other sites, however - I tend to shoot my mouth off and end up being loathed and despised and end up pretty much ruining the discussion board or whatever it is I'm on. "Internet cancer", if you will.

Amazon.com is one of those sites. Now, I don't know how you stumbled upon the welcoming doors of The Fortress, but odds are some of you will have read the site address on one of my Amazon reviews (I don't pimp the site on THAT many places, you know), and you may well have read them when I put them on here, so you'll notice that I do my very best to offend the fans of whatever garbage I'm reviewing, where I basically insult the product and the sort of people who would buy it.

This led to me getting a barrage of hate mail, but it also led me to accept I was never going to be in the "Top Reviewer" ranks in Amazon, as I anticipated scores of negative votes.

And yet..

Someone out there must like me, because, whilst I have pulled in loads of negative votes, there's been a hell of a lot of positives as well, meaning I kept moving up the ladder, from reviewer rank 640,660 to my current position of 7,726.

So now, you know what? Now I DO care about my ranking. Hell, it'd be different if I was plummeted straight to the bottom, but now I'm actually in the top 10,000 I'm up for what The Curmudgeon does best - cheating.

And, loyal Dwellers - here's where YOU can help The Curmudgeon do that. If you have an Amazon account and can give out positive votes, well then.. I would like YOU to rate my review on the following items. Now, see, this is where it gets tricky - I can't just give you a direct link to my review, because then you can't vote on it. And reviews with 100% positive scores help my rating considerably, so I'm gonna give you links to items I've reviewed that have either no ratings or a few. Confused? Don't be. Just go to..

All New Laurel and Hardy - For Love or Mummy

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product//B00007K01P/ref=cm_aya_asin.title/103-6880304-6747834?ie=UTF8

Eminem - Mockingbird

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product//B0009E3CFC/ref=cm_aya_asin.title/103-6880304-6747834?ie=UTF8

Will Young - Light My Fire

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product//B000067DRB/ref=cm_aya_asin.title/103-6880304-6747834?ie=UTF8

Keith N Shane - Girl You Know Its True

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product//B000055YEF/ref=cm_aya_asin.title/103-6880304-6747834?ie=UTF8

Bo Selecta - Soda Pop/I've Got You Babe

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product//B0006L5RYC/ref=cm_aya_asin.title/103-6880304-6747834?ie=UTF8

Jennifer Ellison - Bye Bye Boy

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product//B0002LOJQ8/ref=cm_aya_asin.title/103-6880304-6747834?ie=UTF8

Madonna - American Pie

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product//B00004T1HB/ref=cm_aya_asin.title/103-6880304-6747834?ie=UTF8

Khia - My Neck My Back

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product//B00006F2XA/ref=cm_aya_asin.title/103-6880304-6747834?ie=UTF8



There. That should do. So, if you've got five minutes to spare and you fancy putting a good vote my way.. well, I imagine you'd go to Heaven for that.

That's it. I can quit begging now. Er, go about your business. Slam evil.