A Monster-Size Slap In The Face.
Sometimes life can be so cruel. There was The Curmudgeon, itching in his cinema seat with excitement at the thought of seeing a mega-bucks US version of Godzilla. I really had high, high hopes.
And then this - one giant Godzilla turd of a movie. Don't get me wrong, the Japanese movies aren't exactly Citizen Kane, but what they lack in coherent plot, effects and script they make up for in spirit, ambition and, dammit, a love for their monster.
This movie looks good (if you can buy this image of Godzilla, anyway). The city being torn to pieces is excellent, but oh man, did they ever screw up the rest.
No-one cares about the characters in Godzilla movies. The star of the movie, the reason people buy tickets - is for Godzilla. So the tedious sub-plot with Matthew Broderick (who really looks like he doesn't want to be here) is frustrating enough, but when they turn the movie into some lame Jurassic Park rip-off, with lots of LITTLE Godzilla's, you're left wondering who greenlighted this crap.
Word to movie producers - Godzilla is SUPPOSED to be almost indestructible (how easily did he die?), he is SUPPOSED to be fearless (don't have him RUNNING AWAY from the army!!) and DON'T replace him mid-movie for lots of little dinosaurs.
Not that hard is it? Well done, America - you just screwed up a perfectly good franchise. This still depresses me so much I can't even make an amusing quip. Deep, deep sigh.
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