Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Review 29: 50 Cent - Candy Shop





YAWN.

Is it me, or is EVERY hip-hop record released in the last ten years EXACTLY the same? Not music wise, obviously, but it seems to me that EVERY song revolves around..

1. How much money they have.
2. How many women they get.
3. What cars they drive

Etc. etc. etc. Forever and ever until the day you die.

Then along came 50 Cent, and he at least could back up the usual bravado claims, what with being shot nine times (not that he ever talks about that, ahem), and, more fool us, we all thought this guy might actually have something NEW to say.

Cue second single, and here he is, dancing with Snoop Dogg, talking about girls, cars and money, saying the exact same things as a million other idiots before him.

Don't expect things to have changed for this, either. The first single from his new album, it's a TERRIBLE "attempt" at being sexy, as he uses every braincell he has (about four, I imagine) to use candy as a metaphor. So he wants you to lick his lollipop. No, I'm really not making that up.

When it comes to the part where he says "I'm the Luuuuuuurve Doctor" you're not feeling his style or feeling his flo, you're wishing you could use a final tenth bullet to complete his set. AWFUL, awful stuff.

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