Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Review 30: Blue Streak DVD
More like a big brown streak.
The Curmudgeon does not live by many rules in his life. I'd like to think I'm a fairly open-minded guy, but there is one major rule in The House Of Curmudgeon.
NO Martin Lawrence movies - EVER.
Now, you might think this is harsh, but I'm not throwing rules here and there for the sake of it. For I have seen a few Martin Lawrence movies (I believe the first six minutes of "Big Momma's House" sealed the deal) and they are the most wretched, unfunny movies I've ever witnessed.
Martin Lawrence is, I'm sure his passport would agree, a comedian. Which, call me old fashioned, means you have to be "funny". Whoops, strike one on that, because he really is the most irritating, punch-in-the-balls UNFUNNY man I've ever had the misfortune to watch.
I think Mr Lawrence thinks that if you say something LOUD enough, and pull a stupid face - ziiiiiing - You've Got Funny. Because that's all his ENTIRE act consists of. When he's not being a poor man's, make that broke man's, Eddie Murphy (who IS funny) he simply shouts. And shouts. And then laughs at nothing and makes stupid noises. Gotta have them rollin' in the aisles that one.
I won't bother you with the plot, because you don't need to know it. Follow The Curmudgeon's Golden Rule - it's a Martin Lawrence movie - don't watch it. You can't go wrong.
It seems maybe people are already following that rule because, well, how many films have YOU seen him in recently?
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