Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Review 27: Children Of The Living Dead DVD




Think of the worst horror film you've ever seen. This is worse.

With the new George Romero "Land Of The Dead" coming out soon, it wouldn't surprise me if you see the other installments of his (at the time) zombie trilogy out on prominent display in stores. Hell, they might be a bit cheeky and try and throw in the Return Of The Living Dead series to cash in. They might be absolutley EVIL and attempt to put this terrible, TERRIBLE movie on an innocent, unsuspecting public.

I presume you know a fair bit about zombies, otherwise you, you know, wouldn't be on here reading about one. OK, so I'll skip the basics and tell you one of the "plot" details.

A master zombie HIDES from kids, watching them and plotting. Oh yeah, and he turns CORPSES into zombies. Exactly.

Diabolocal acting we can handle (and oh maaaan, it's in abundace here), rubbish effects (ditto) but at least get the BASIC characteristics of zombies right. Hell, Tom Savini's in this (he must have been really broke), you think he of all people would have said, "uh.. you know, guys.. this whole movie is really awful".

If there is one thing you should see this for, it's for the unintentionally HILARIOUS moment the master zombie Abbot Hayes stalks out onto the middle of the road. Honestly, it's the FUNNIEST thing you'll ever see. He walks like a Thunderbirds puppet. It really is the shoddiest, worst excuse for "horror" you'll ever, EVER see. And that includes the Ring 2.

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