Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Review 47: Stereophonics - Step On My Old Size 9's
Just another reason to hate the Stereophonics.
There are many reasons to do this. Here are a few:
1. Kelly Jones has publicly stated he will never put proper songs as B-sides to singles. Mr Rock And Roll said "we release four singles from our album, with two extra tracks on the two CD formats, that's almost a whole album". In it for the music eh?
2. The dull, pedestrian meat and potatoes everyman rock dirge they pollute the air waves with.
3. Kelly Jones. In general.
4. This. Fu**ing. Song.
Now there's been a fair few Stereophonics songs that have barely registered on my radar. I've heard them, shrugged and switched off. Don't get me wrong, the likes of Bartender and The Thief and A Million Trees were acceptable, on some levels even enjoyable, but after that it all went rapidly downhill. From the cuddly, "fingers crossed its Christmas no:1" cover of "Handbags and Gladrags" to the "boo-hoo, now the NME hate us" pointless wail of "Mr Writer" there was just something easily detestable about the Stereophonics. And then Step On My Old Size Nines came out, along with "funny" video, and I really thought my ears were going to bleed in agonizing pain.
It's not loud, it's not annoyingly catchy or anything like that. It's quite simply the most boring, mundane DRIVEL you'll ever hear. Honestly, it's AWFUL. The fact it appeared on an album is gobsmacking enough, the fact they released the plodding, moribund car-crash as a SINGLE is beyond belief. Quite simply one of the worst singles of all time.
The soundtrack to a band who aren't in it for the music, aren't in it for the friendship or the tours - they're in it for the money. If I had one wish it would be to take my old size tens and kick the ever-lovin' crap out of Kelly Jones.
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