Review 49: Batman And Robin SE DVD

You can't polish a turd.

Being a collector of all live action comic book adaptations, you can bet I was pleased that the powers that be decided to re-release all four Batman movies as Special Editions, instead of the usual; the first movie gets all the extra's, the sequels get squat.

So here then is two things - one, the worst movie ever made, and two - the worst movie ever made that gets the special edition two disc treatment. The old saying "you can't polish a turd" rings true here - stick all the extras and bonus features on here, it's still utterly dismal.

I haven't bought this yet, but I'm actually curious as to what the hell could be on this two disc edition. I doubt any of the actors involved will want to talk about it (although its always funny to hear George Clooney apologise about it). I think we should have an extra of every member of cast involved being punched in the genitals. Just once, twice for Joel. Imagine..

Arnie: But I was really funny. Remember - "You'll never put me in de coolahh... UNGHHHH."

Now THAT I would watch.

Now, there's one thing for a film to be bad. I've watched hundered of bad movies, hundreds of really TERRIBLE movies, but this is one of those rare abomonations that actually makes you feel ANGRY. Angry that the people involved had NO idea what they were doing, that they took MILLIONS of dollars, that someone with, say, talent, could have used to make something good, and flushed it down the toilet on stupid sets, costumes, TERRIBLE dialogue, AWFUL plots and absolutley WASTED characters that bear little to no resemblence to their comic book counterparts.

I don't understand who they were aiming this movie at. Certainly not the fans of the comics, who (quite rightly) would want to kill every single person responsible. Average movie-goers would think it a gaudy, badly acted mess, and kids would just think it was corny and boring.

So there you have it - I've reviewed some right terrible things in my time, but THIS is the single worst thing I've ever seen.. and I'm going to buy it.

That depresses me so much I'm going to have to do something drastic... and you'll find out what THAT is for review number 50...