Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Review 33: Dirty Dancing DVD
As entertaining as nailing your face to the floor.
Tchoh, this is one of those stupid movies that really annoys me. I mean, let's get right down to it - it's RUBBISH, OK? Everyone knows it, yet mention it to a certain demographic of empty-headed girls and they all cluck and sigh and say how much they love it etc. Fools.
For the record, The Curmudgeon is not some stony-hearted macho man. Hey, probably my all time favourite movie is Wizard Of Oz. But we're not here to talk about the good stuff, remember (read my profile) - only the bad. And oh man, is this ever bad.
It's not the dancing I resent - I don't mind that. It's some of the stupid plot devices that really grate on me, and they're the ones that usually get the girls all gooey and resting their cheeks on their hands.
Plot device one - Patrick Swayze blubs at the end of this movie because of all the sex he gets. Yep, he's actually UPSET about the amount of MILFS he manages to pull in the job he has. "They just use me", he sniffs. OH BOO HOO - Poor you. Sorry, we're supposed to FEEL for this character? Did those women FORCE him to bang them all? Give me a break.
Plot device two - one of the girls gets pregnant sleeping around. Whoops, well, that's what happens. Nothing wrong with a bit of a moral in the tale here and there. But - girl gets abortion, so - abortion girl crys, the lead girl crys, Swayze looks "deep" - alright. But - NEXT SCENE(!!) Swayze and lead girl are in his house dancing - cue romantic music - cue first kiss - cue sex scene. Yes, nothing like an abortion to get you in the mood for more casual, pre-maritial sex. JUST the sort of thing we want to shove down the throats of the impressionable 12 year old girls watching.
"Nobody puts baby in the corner", quothe old plasticine face at the end. Fair enough - put this crap there instead, and crush it into oblivion.
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