Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Review 15: Coyote Ugly SE DVD
A stupid movie for stupid people
Now, I don't know about you, but when I go to a bar, call me old fashioned, but I like to have a drink. This seemingly out-dated and crazy notion never once crops up in this brainless teen-fodder. Set in a bar, the bunch of yahoo's drinking there every night don't seem to bother that the barmaids NEVER SERVE ANYONE. I like to look at a hot girl as much as anyone (and the girls ARE nice) but ALL they do is dance on top of the bar. That's it. And the baying fools don't seem to mind. Not once do you hear, "so.. uh.. can I get a drink, then?" The place is packed, every night, with really, really sober people. I can't imagine the takings in that place.
And what's with the refusal to serve water? See, this is their idea of "hardcore" and cool, that whenever some square asks for water, you blast that sucker with the water hose. Hil-ari-ous.
Imagine the scene;
Guy: Hi, can I have some water?
Girl: Oh, you heard the man! H-2 - NO!
Girl pulls out water hose.
Guy: But it's for my medication, I need to take thi.. arghh!
Exactly. Oh, the plot? Do you really want to know? Well, some girl moves to the city, wants to become a singer with her collection of really bland songs (just what we need, thanks) which she plays on her roof (in the "poignant" scenes, see?) and then she meets some idiot who she falls in lov... oh, come on, you KNOW what's going to happen already.
But, like my title says, it's perfect for stupid people. Undemanding, happy-ending loving, stupid people. But for anyone with a clue, it's really awful stuff. AND it spawned that horrendous "Can't Fight The Moonlight", to be murdered in every kareoke bar for ever, another reason to hate it.
Don't know what's on this "unrated" edition. Maybe it's of some lucky punter actually getting served.
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